“I was only nine weeks pregnant, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.  I started spot bleeding and I knew in that moment that the pregnancy was ending… It was ten more days before the baby released itself from my womb. In those ten days, I learned the true meaning of going with-IN. I spent time exploring myself, communicating with the babe inside me, and identifying depths of anger and pain and sadness within me that I had never known existed. I recognized so many socially constructed preconceptions that I held of life; so many attachments that I clung to; and expected outcomes that I desired… In those ten days, as I allowed myself to FEEL, EXPERIENCE, and EXPRESS the intensity of my pain and sorrow at my perceived loss; and of my anger and rage at those I felt had caused this outcome, I discovered the OPPORTUNITY to LET GO.

As the babe moved through me – after what felt like a lifetime – I was at peace. I experienced my own birthing into an evolved being! I had been contracting most of the day, and was driving through Stanley Park when I felt Little Flower’s Spirit leave my body. Only a couple short hours later I birthed her tiny body and put her in a little cedar box filled with nature’s treasures. I stared at her body, lying silent and still, and I realized clearly what she wanted, and what we both needed… The next day I drove to a private beach that we both loved. I built a large fire on the tide line and I laid her into it. I held Cer emony there for hours, staying with her until her body had become ash, to ensure that her Spirit was released to the Wind and the Waves as the tide rolled in. She was no longer mine; she never had been! I LET GO of her body, and with it, all of my attachments, preconceptions, desires, and expectations. I LET GO so that both our Spirits could soar FREE. FREE to explore, experience, and BE, without restriction or restraint. FREE to BE LOVE in ALL FORMS.”